It has been a long week.
In the middle of a busy month.
In the almost mid way point of a fast year!
Earlier this week I was running outside on the trail behind our old house (yes, I am a runner…please don’t tune me out! And even more amazingly; yes!!! It was nice enough to run outside). While running I was wrestling with thoughts of the future.
Our oldest son is going to prom in a couple of weeks and visiting a COLLEGE as I type. Our youngest daughter just had eye surgery at U of M and there is lots of follow-up. Plus, she is starting high school next year and we have lots of questions and decisions to make about what path she takes. Our middle daughter…well, she is being her beautiful self and playing her role as the middle child with perfection 🙂 Thank the good Lord for middle children! Am I right?!!!
Since my last post we have sold our home, moved into an apartment, and started the process of building a new home! Let me circle back to the most important event listed in the above paragraphs…we moved into an APARTMENT.
Please know that when I say what I am about to say, I do know that most of the world lives in conditions FAR worse than this apartment. Also, I am entirely grateful for the roof over our head because it has been ridiculously cold lately here in Michigan! Where is spring anyway?!
Okay, now I’ll say it. This apartment is small. It is tiny. It is smaller than the house we bought when we were first married. Maybe, it’s me, and the apartment is fine. Maybe I am just in denial about our actual size…
What I mean, is that in moving into such small quarters I have realized just how BIG we all are. And, not just our physical bodies but our personalities, and our stuff, and our emotions, and just what makes us who we are! We are 5 people stuffed into a small space with no windows (okay, I may be exaggerating that point), but let’s just say it has not always brought out the best in us. But, we are dealing and we are changing.
I would say we are growing too, but I think the apartment would explode at the very thought!
Anyway, my thoughts were all over the place! I could see the path I was headed down in my mind. Worry was lining up in front of me. Overwhelming feelings were creeping into my thoughts. This inevitably leads to worry about making the right decisions. Which leads to anxiety about whether we DID make the right decisions. Which inevitably leads me down a twisty, circular path where I am doing anything but glorifying God.
I never remember Proverbs 16:9. I case you forget too it says:
The heart of man plans his way but the Lord establishes his steps.
And, at just the right time, I felt that still small voice tell me to focus on what was in front of me. He can handle the details of this day, the plans of tomorrow, and the vision of the future. I was just to be still and let Him lead today. We would focus on tomorrow when tomorrow came.
And, I felt peace.
Of course, it was at that very moment that I looked at what was literally in front of me on the trail and…IT WAS A SNAKE!!!
I am so very grateful for the practicality of God’s voice!
If He will use a snake in the middle of the trail to switch my focus and steer me away from pointless worry who am I to ignore the instruction of His word, or the way He so patiently establishes my steps.
I will probably never get it completely right. I will most likely worry again and about much bigger things than a snake on the trail or the apartment (which at this moment has a spider living in it under my bedroom dresser, so yeah…I am not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight).
But, remember, it is the little things and small steps of obedience that give us practice, so when the storm comes we know exactly what to do. I am so thankful that He is equipping me with strength and trust in His goodness along the way.
****oh, I changed the name of my blog too! More to come later…***